[b]Chapter 10 Part 2 MIKKO’S POV [/b] People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. ^ that’s how I describe pain  , just kidding , I read that from a book – it sucks – I mean it struck me . . when I look at them , kc and giro being together , parang matitigil nalang ang mundo ko , and I look at them at total envy . . I really envy them . . ending the camping trip , back to my new normal routine 1. Pickup KC and Giro 2. Rehearse with the streetdance club 3. go home alone . . Number 3 was supposed to hanging out with the gang but , all of them are busy . . so I just had to go home and study hard . . yep I’m studying hard . pretty weird huh? I’m back to my normal self . . and late at night kim or Katie would call me - - yeah they call me , and everytime they would do that ( kim and katie calling me ) I’d just feel so warm and relieved . . pretty stupid , right ? but that’s how I deal with kc and giro being almost together , they are one kiss away from being lovers . . ( hahaha ) – honestly since after the camp , she lived up to the way I called her she was the girl next door , weird everytime I would go out to take out the trash makikita ko siya or something , deadma . . . then sometimes while jogging , I see her sa porch nila nag skesketch . . listening to her ipod , then parang pasimpleng tingin ako – then magkaka hulihan kami ng tingin then mapapatingin din siya – then biglang iwas tingin naman ako . . . then bibilis yung heartbeat ko ? then pag papasok na kaming 3 , we pretend na hindi kami nagkita or something – then I can’t help but not look at them sa likod . . si kc laging naka sandal kay giro ? . . weeEEeeEeeeeE . . then they would joke around then . . GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - - first class started , magkatabi sila . . nagiging item nga sila sa school eh T_T . . I’m getting bored dito sa campus , I wanna transfer . or go somewhere else for a while , I’m heartbroken , period. When kc talks to me , I act as normal as possible . . I mean I smile , I laugh , I punch giro , I act as normal as I can no matter how much it hurts .. – alam naman ni kc nararamdaman ko pero , oh well . ayoko namang sirain ang momentum nilang dalawa . . ^^ I’m a good friend so I hide my real emotions . . wait tama ba ? ginagawa ko . . tsk . I’m such a fucktard . .hahhahaah . . its been a while since I’ve posted in my blog . . limot na nila yun . . . ako rin mejo limot ko na . . weeeeeeeeeee . . . 2 weeks after the camping trip . . [b]Saturday night 23:00[/b] I was gonna jogg again , since hindi ako makatulog , mga steps inaalala ko . I needed something to get my head off to . . 8-X haha . listening to maroon 5 ,then I stumbled on something that was really odd . . I saw kc really sad or depressed ba . . ewan . andun sa bench na lagi naming tinatambayan – I sat beside her . . I asked her . . “ whats up ? “ “ . . . whats up ??? “ “ uhmmm . . yeahh ? “ “ funny you should ask - - “ “ . . haha bakit ? “ Aw seryoso si kc ? . . “ . . .gusto ko nang lumipat ng school . . “ kc told me . “ whoa ? bakit naman !? “ “ naguguluhan ako sa Xavier , ayokong makasakit - - “ “ makasakit ? . . kc ? “ “ your there , giro’s here - - I mean you guys ? magkakagalit pa yata kayo dahil sakin ? . ayoko ng ganon – “ “ that doesn’t explain why your hear out here at this hou r ? its 11 o clock and your still up ? - - hmmm kc . “ I gave her the annoying smile Then she reacted differently . . . she just told me “ mikko - - I just , I really miss you - - “ Then . . my world stopped spinning again ? . . . it hit me like a silver bullet. . in the chest and I took it like a man . “ hehe - - well andito pa rin naman ako ? its just different proximity and your seeing a lot of my bestfriend ? okay “ *sigh “ bakit ganon pag kasama ko si giro ang saya saya ko ,then pag nakikita kita parang gusto ko nalang umiyak then lumapit sayo pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ? . . “ “ ang drama mo kc ! hahaha “ “ . . . “ I pulled her closer . . . then I whispered . . “ may M&M’s pako sa bahay hehehe XD gusto mo ?? “ “ hmmm . ewan ko sayo “ she replied . ako naman . I pulled her closer ulit . . hehehe “ chocolatessssss yunnnnn hehe , EMINEMSSSS . . hmm wag na nga , naalala ko lang yung orientation . . canteen . . haha “ “ hmpf ! . naalala mo pa ? . . “ “ OO NAMAN !! PERO ! . sa isang condition !!!! . .” I muttered “ hmm . ano naman ? “ “ KISS MUNA !!!!!!!! hahahahahahhaha “ I laughed hard . . . Then . . *pak !!! She kissed me ? sa cheeks ? Napatigil naman ako dun , then she stood up and said . . “ so shall we ? . . m&m’s ko !!! . . blehhh “ “ ohh . . k . . “ then she pulled me up . then we walked towards my place andun lang kami sa may kitchen naka upo I just thought whats really weird was , I was really speechless habang naglalakad kami papunta sa loob ng bahay , we got inside and gave her the M&M’s . . then she was looking at me , I was looking at her . . then I just smiled . alam nyo yon ? parang speechless na ewan . . weird talaga , she was smiling at me - - I asked her “ its almost 12 o clock ? ano plano mo sa buhay ? “ “ hmmmm . . uubusin ko lahat ng eminems mo dito haha “ “ ngeee , anyway kc. . ? . . . why’d you did that for ? “ “ alin ? “ “ . . . the kiss ? “ “ kaya ko bang igive up ang eminems? “ “ hahaha . now I know your weakness !!! , pero seriously ? anong oras ka uuwi “ “ . . hehe , sige after ko ubusin to “ Then I suddenly shifted to a more serious topic . . “ so . . . samin ni giro sino mas mabait ? “ “ haha , ano to trick question ? SI GIRO !!!!! hahaha “ “ oh . so . . do you like him ? “ ” hmmm - - bakit mag seselos ka pag OO ?“ I sticked my face close to her and said . “ yep “ “ . . . boyfriend ba kita para mag selos ka ?“ “ uhmm nope , pero hindi ko namang pwedeng pigilan na hindi mag selos diba ? hahaha “ Then she pinched me . . “ may point ka dun ANYWAY . . hmmm . may bible study kami ni kim bukas sama ka ? “ “ you haven’t answered my question yet ? “ “ . . bye bye mikkopots !!!!! . . antok naku . hihihi ! “ then she huggs me and wents off and waves . . , unfair hindi man lang niya sinagot , napasmile pa rin ako dun kahit papano . hehe , then later that evening she called me … It was almost 1 o clock * … I was sitting in my computer chair and talking to her on the phone , then I saw her on her room window , talking to me ! hahaha . . M: yo yo , tulog na ! hahaha K: hmm , hindi ako makatulog M: eh di si giro tawagan mo ! haha K: . . . hehe okay . M: NO NO ! just kidding . . hehehe . . K: . . . M: . . uhhhh . . galit na siya . . soweeeeee . . . puntahan kita jan sige ka ! K: hmpf !! . haha . uyyy . naka bukas ang ilaw sa kwarto . ! takot ka noh ! M: ngee ndi noh , kasi hindi pako matutulog eh ! Then I saw kc stood up , I saw her from my room . . then ayun we saw each other holding the chordless phone , I smiled at her . . then she gave me her ever cute smile again , then she pouted her face . . weeeee. . M: cute nung girl oh ! andun sa bintana ! K: hmmmmmmmmmmm . . sino ? M: secret ! K: pareho kayong gwapo ni giro , wag kang mag alala hihi M: ngeeee . . - then I started playing parokya ni edgar “ san man patungo “ then she heard the chorus . then I saw her sa kwarto nya naka tingin , lip syncing the song . . haha - - It was . . really sweet of her to do that gesture  - - i smiled . . then I started dancing to the music . haha , it was really hilarious . . Before we knew it , it was almost 3 AM . . it was wayyyyyy past my bedtime . . . so I told her , its getting pretty early - - She gave me her sad face . . damn , vulnerable talaga ako sa kanya . . Then she gave me a flying kiss .. I replied by showing a gesture of taking it and keeping in my pocket . then she said . “ goodmorning , sir mikko aensland  “ “ haha , your weird !!! “ I said . . “ oh siya siya sige na ! bye bye na talaga !!!! . . wabshuuuuuu . . “ “ I love you too  “ Then I heard her laugh a bit then – hangs up the phone [b]KC’S POV[/b] Coming home from a date with giro - - it was sort’a magical – we went to MOA as usual and then watched WALL-E together in imax – then we went to the bay area and then took several pictures - - then we went home later that night , he took me home – I’m just wondering , kami na ba ni giro ? or talagang super close lang kami . . what about mikko ? I mean he told me something really really personal during camping trip – hindi yun maalis sa isip ko , I’m so torn up right now . . I needed some fresh air in my social life - - kasi naman nakalipat lipat pa dito . tsk ! hehe , pero I’m enjoying both of there company – giro the sweet cute guy , sincerity always comes first , campus icon/hottie , extremely sweet , wait did I already mentioned that ? hehe then here’s mikko the boy next door suplado but deep inside really sweet and caring guy , campus hottie/icon , he’s really a caring person  . . both of them are almost perfect – I like them both . . T_T . but I don’t want either of them to end up hurt . . but the thing is si mikko lumalayo na samin - - I miss him , I miss his corky ness – he’s so corky and fun to be with ! I mean both of them . I asked Katie for advice . . and all she said was “ both of them are mr. right , but it all comes down to the conclusion that one of them is gonna be mr. right and one of them Is gonna be mr. not right now . “ ^ anong klaseng advice naman to ? . . honestly nung hindi pa kami ganito ka close ni giro , lagi nalang akong tinetext ni mikko , I mean parang ginagawa niya akong blog . . then most of the time he would call me or something . . then came my birthday , I was happy and all but mikko . . . . I think I broke his heart . . I like giro , I like them both . . Naguguluhan na ako . . . . T_T I came home late - - I sat dun sa bench na inuupuan namin ni mikko lagi . . . wala lang I was bowing my head down . . . then All of the sudden , mikko sat beside me . . We talked , I told him everything . he’s a jackass as always . tsk . he dared me to kiss him . . in exchange for eminems dahil malakas rin ang trip ko nung gabi na yun I kissed him  . . sa cheeks . wala lang , friendly kiss lang naman . . we ended up going to his place and we ate eminems and we talked , he asked me about giro . . . . . I went home . . I called him ^^ Then there , that was the awkward night , I had with him . . Friday again . Back to school again . . gahhh . . I heard miss sanchez na magkaka ron daw ng rock party sa school ? ang theme ? guess what . .HIGHSCHOOL-PROM daw ang style ng party pero ang outfits daw eh . . casual parin , weird ? . . hmmm – katie accompanied me to buy a dress . . worried ako – since mikko or giro haven’t asked me to go yet – weird ko ? hihi pero malay ko ba dun sa dalawa kung sino ang may gustong ako ang kadate hihihi – Later that day , nagyaya si mikko at giro na magpunta sa mall - - nag yaya siyang manood ng movie ? . . okay , awkward silang dalawa ? akong mag isa . . tsk patay na - - then before kami umalis nung hapon na yon – nag text si giro na susunod nalang daw si giro samin sa movie house? - - so nagpunta ako dun sa parking lot - - I saw mikko dun sa may car niya – I went there and then he said M: so technically hangang wala pa si giro ? tayo muna magkasama ? “ K: obviously ? “ M: taray mo naman ! haha – pasok ka na nga “ M: bakit ba taray mo ! hahaha , “ K: ikaw kasi ! “ M: lol . . so sabi ni giro mag meet nalang daw tayo sa mall ? hmm I he’s gonna be there in about an hour , so shall we ? K: yeah sige Mejo na rerelieve na ako kasi mejo ayos na ulit ang pakikitungo ni mikko sakin , he’s back to normal . . then the song “ how to save a life by the fray “ started to play on the radio , mikko sang along - - . . Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life . . . I looked at him – he was casually singing the song ? - - weird . . I placed my hand on his right hand , which was on the gear I asked him K: ayos ka lang ? M: haha , gusto mo bang maaccidente tayo ? K: okay okay , sige . . alisin ko--- M: lagay mo kamay mo dito sa gear bili . . K: huH? I know nothing about driving M: trust me . ako bahala sayo  K: oh okay ? . . I placed my hand on the gear , then he placed his , on top of mine . . . I just looked at him . and then he said M: much better . . – then he smiled at me . tunaw ako . K: hmm M: so ganito . . wait 2nd gear . - - - - - So okay , nooby talaga akong magdrive , si mikko nalang ang nag didirect nung kamay ko . . hihihi … Then finally we arrived at the mall , gutom na daw si mikko so , niyaya niya akong kumain sa KFC – dahil malakas ang trip ko nung pagpunta namin sa KFC , I grabbed his phone nung umoorder siya and opened up the camera hehe XD . . I took several shots . of myself – then si mikko pagbalik sumingit . . sa pictorial mode ko – [img]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e237/ayelcute/story1-1.jpg[/img] ^ ito yung kinalabasan . . hehe . . Then finally after eating sa KFC , we decided to go to the movie house - - pangit ang mga palabas so tinext ni mikko si giro na sa may stage nalang daw kami magkita and we’re gonna watch lifehouse concert daw ? – I saw giro andun sa may rails . . we sat down , ako nasa gitna . . the concert started . . It was fun - - then suddenly may nakita akong babae na nagbebenta ng brownies . . I whispered . “ sarap . .tsk . .” GIRO/MIKKO “ GUSTO MO !? “ . . bigla silang humarap sakin - - sabay pa sila . . . Naulit nanaman - - tsk . . “ uhmmm . alin ?? “ GIRO “ brownies ? haha Mikko “ wala wala . . hehe sige “ GIRO “ nga pala kc ,sa rockparty may date ka na ?” . . KC “ . . wala pa hehe . . “ GIRO “ uhmm ayos lang ba kung ikaw maging date ko ? hehe “ KC “ date ? eh simpleng party party- - “ GIRO “ haha gusto ko kasi kasabay kita pag pasok . . “ Si mikko parang na OP yata samin . . . he stood up and then told giro na “ pare , geh hehe bili lang ako sa starbucks “ . . ako naman I made up an excuse na sabi ko CR lang ako , then to make sure na hindi sasama si giro I told him to look for my bag muna . ( tsk evil ko - - oh well he’s still cute - - walang connect – haha ) . . I followed mikko sa . . . Bay area ?? . . akala ko ba starbucks . . Then I saw him punch something . . yata or something . . I whispered “m-mikko . . “ “ whoa , KC ? what are yoU ? sino kasama ni giro dun ? “ “ sabi ko cr lang ako . . “ “ and wala ka sa CR , sinundan mo ko ? “ “ ehh . . “ “ ito sinasabi ko sayo ? – pag naging kayo na - wag na wag mong lolokohin ang kaibigan ko ? “ “ . . . . . o. k , sinundan lang kita kasi , I felt worried and . . nvm . .“ I just looked down and I started to walk away . . naiiyak nanaman ako , Then suddenly . . . Mikko Grabbed my hands “ wag kang umiyak okay ? I know your gonna be happy with him “ “ . you really think ? . . “ Then he wipes out the tears . . “ yes  - - tara na nga , nag aalala na yon . . samahan mo ko starbucks bili tayo ng drinks , pero magpunas ka muna ng muka . “ [b]Mikko’s POV .. . [/b] After seeing her cry again for the nth time . . . I wiped out the tears . and then went to starbucks with her to get a drink for us 3 . . we went back and saw giro ? serious . . ata . . After the concert – umuwi na kami , pero pumigil muna kami sa may 7 11 dun sa may giliman alley . . madilim siya . . kasi nuuhaw daw si giro ? . . I went with him sa labas . . Si kc andun sa car . nasa likod . . nagpaiwan muna . . Then pag pasok dun sa establishment . . giro held my shoulders . and asked in a serious tone . . “ dude , may gusto ka ba kay KC ? “ - to be continued -