[b]CHAPTER 4[/b] Wanna know what happen this week? Siyempre, I need to continue. I need to, kahit na ayoko na i-open up. Though, past is past, kailangan e. Siguro my last step para ma-let go ko na. Psss, arte ko no. Tama naman e. Siguro nga maarte, korny, at hindi ako maintindihan minsan. Pero ganon talaga ang buhay. I guess I just need to let it all go and accept what will happen to me in the next days, weeks, years, in short, sa future. "What?!" "I said, I confess to Ivan yesterday." "Pero Mommy." "I had a deal with HIM<GOD>, that once na umulan this El Nino Season na to. I'll tell it to him." "Pero.." "Just look at the bright side Vonne. mas masasaktan lang ako sa pag susupetsa na may communication siya and our friend is getting along with each other. We may not know. Hindi ko alam. Pero I don't wanna make a gap na hindi ko naman sinasadyang gawin kay Kams. I also don't like to go beyond my limitations. Tutal, I think he just considers me as his friend. I don't wanna judge others, dahil lang sa baka ayaw sa akin ng crush ko." Now, you'll know the whole story by this point guys. I myself admit na I'm still a teen. Matured mag-isip pagdating sa ibang bagay pero wala pang muwang sa love. Siguro nga. Ang dami kong crush. When I was in first year, I became a bridge between my friend, who's from the other section<not the same as mine> and my classmate. Yung classmate kong yun is a guy, and he's Ivan. And my friend, actually we're childhood friends<magkapit-bahay pa kami> is his crush. At the same time my friend, Tricia, has a crush on him. So, MU sila. Kaya lang nawala yung pagiging MU nila bago mag-end ang first year days namin. Second year, ako naman yung heart-broken. I had a crush when I was in first year, and now he has a girlfriend. When that happens, ang nag-comfort sa akin ay siya, si Ivan, kahit hindi niya alam na na-cocomfort ako. Gets niyo ba? parang yung pinapatawa ka ng isang tao pero hindi niya alam na napapasaya ka niya. Basta ganon. I'm being comforted by him. Then, I start to have a crush on him. Third year, nag-continue yung feelings ko sa kanya. Kaya lang ngayong mag-eend yung klase. I started on having a different feeling towards Kuya Mart pero si Ivan parin yung naiisip ko, si Ivan pa rin. Ang gulo di ba? Basta. Kaya lang within the third year days, may incident na nangyari, and in that incident I, and my friends, started to suspect na yung isa naming friend, si Kams, and Ivan are getting along with each other. Para bang close sila. And now, i confessed to him. Why? First things first. Kasi I had a deal. I ask God, kung uulan ngayon kung kailan maliit yung possibility na umulan, sasabihin ko sa kanya. I had breakdown thrice because of him. It means, I cried three times just because of him. I don't know pero once I see changes around him and Kams, nanghihina ako, Second, I wanted to know if friends lang ba talaga. [i]*flashback*[/i] I met him sa bench after class. "Ivan." I handed him a piece of paper "Ano to?" "Just read it once you arrive home" "Tell me first, anong laman nito" Hindi ko napigilan, tumulo yung luha ko. "Kristine!" napalingon ako sa likod si Kuya Mart. "Sakay na. Uwi na tayo! Gusto ko na mag-toogs!" I face Ivan. "It's a deal." I was about to go. "Why--" Hindi ko na siya pinatapos "Napuwing lang ako." Sumakay ako sa service, umiiyak. Then, I told seme. "Ice cream tayo." yaya ni Kuya Mart Umiling ako. "Bakit ka--" pero natigilan siya. after how many minutes "O." "Sayo na lang. Ayoko." "Ngayon na nga lang ako manglibre, ayaw mo pa." *sniff*"Oo na."*sniff* "IIHHH. Tatawa na yan" I smiled, a fake smile. [i]*end of flashback*[/i] I kinuwento ko kay Vonne yan. "So now Mommy, ano na?" "Ewan" "Do you want to talk to him?" I nod. "Kaya lang I'm afraid Vonne." "Why?" "Baka kung hindi, wala ng friendship." "Mommy, I want to know." "Anong gusto mong malaman?" "Yung laman nung paper" "A poem" "Can I read it?" I nod. Then handed her my copy. [spoiler][i]The stroke of my hand Wounds that are once healed are wounded. I was cut deep down, Not twice, but thrice that can't return my tears. Sitting at a corner, I wish no one would notice me. Tears that came out and drops on a piece of paper, Where I write what hurts me. Why can't you just be mine? I wanted you to ask that thing. It was when I realized that you're gone I was late, left blankly. The stroke of my hand how I use these lonely words are such nightmares; I wish I could forget. Why are these given to me? Puzzles, yeah, puzzles Difficult ones, undefined. Mazes, yeah, mazes a never ending game, infinity I know, I could just cry it all out But still I pretend to be strong And still you can't notice that, You still can't notice me. Am I really that ordinary? Why don't I stand out amongst them? Am I really the one who's wrong that suspects? Maybe, I don't know, I don't even care, I just wanted to let you know how I feel.[/i][/spoiler] The next day, I felt rejected. Yeah, kasi hindi kami nag-kibuan ni Ivan. Only Kuya Mart makes me smile, a fake smile, hindi totoo, hindi ko feel yung saya. I guess it's life. [align=center]------[/align] [i] NEXT DAY--Wednesday--Still second week of March 2010[/i] Si Vonne na yung gumawa ng way. Nakapag-chat kami. I have known na hindi nga talaga. Pero what's good is, friendship is still alive. Ngayon, Nakakahinga na ako ng maluwag. Though may ouch parin. At least, I can joke around a li'l bit. "Masaya ka na yata ngayon." Kuya Mart said in the mid-air. We were waitng for the rest of our service-mates. "Medyo. Not that happy. Pero nakakatawa na." "Gusto mo tumawa." Umiling ako. "Mas gusto kong maging masaya" then I look at him "Anong pag-kakaiba nun?" I jumped mula sa kina-uupuan naming bench "Akala ko ba kuya kita. E di dapat alam mo na pinagkaiba nun." "Sabihin mo na kasi" I sticked my tongue out. "Ano ba yan?!" "Mag-toogs tayo. Treat ko." nasabi ko na lang "Sige ba." Ito talagang lalaking to, once na may narinig lang na libre. Kalimutan na ang ibang bagay, basta may libre. [align=center] ------[/align] "Anong flavor sayo?" tanong ko. Ako na lang kasi yung bababa. "Kung anong sayo." "Ayoko nga. Ayokong parehas tayo." "Arte naman. Baba na nga rin ako." Sa huli, parehas pa rin kami. Hay naku! Ang kulit! Pati tindera tinanong Kung ano naman raw kung magkaparehas kami. Argh. Pinapahiya pa ako e. [align=center]-----[/align] "Daddy!!" "Hm?" "Punta ako sa graduation niyo." "Ha?" nagulat lang si Kuya Mart "Bakit?" "Kasi tatlo lang pwede isama." "O, di ba nanay mo tapos tatay mo, may isa pa." "Mayron na kong isasama e." "Ay." Kaisi-isip ko. Psss. May talaga. Hay naku. Pa-spesyal. [align=center]---------[/align] "Buh-bye" sabi ko kay Kuya Mart pagbaba. "Hm." may inaabot siya "Ano to?" "Stub." "Para san?" "Graduation. Paalam ka sa parents mo. Susunduin tayo ni Kuya Roy" Napaturo ako sa sarili ko. He nodded. Buti na lang inuna sila May ihatid, kung hindi, skandalo to. "Sige titignan ko." [align=center]--------[/align] "Hmm. Graduation. Graduation." Nasa bahay na ako, sa room ko, nakahiga, nag-iisip. "Tin, kakain na." "Hindi ako kakain Ma." Paalis na sana si Mama. "Ma! Pwede ba ako pumunta sa graduation ng fourth years?" "Ano namang gagawin mo dun?" "Kasi si Kuya Mart, binigyan ako ng stub, parang ticket yata. Punta raw ako" "Sige, inimbitahan ka pala e." "Susunduin at ihahatid din naman kami ni Kuya Roy e." "Sige, pumunta ka na" "Ok" Hmm. Pupunta ako. Pupunta ako. hmmm, Ano kaya mangyayari? [i]signing out--Kristine Rodriguez[/i]

Last edited by myukisan_29 (2010-04-30 07:53:21)