okay, i worked on this poem at school when i had nothing to do. it is basically all about revenge. i need constructive criticisms. tell me what you think? poem's in spoiler [spoiler] Skin as white as porcelain Hair as flaxen as snow Pale and dead she was lain On the cruel bed of sorrow Roses in her hands; thorns on her head Waiting for the dreaded tomorrow (or end?) The velvet corset gripped her tight Laces on her neck Suffocating her; all she felt was fright Her eyes lost the brilliant blue Replaced by eyes dull and azure She used to speak of words bold and true The words only led her to rocky hues Injected was poison in her veins Goodbye was the last thing I heard from her Before she turned and ran away[/spoiler] the part: Goodbye was the last thing I heard from her Before she turned and ran away... is actually what happened before everything else. ayt?

Last edited by KillerKhayzeeTM (2008-07-26 08:08:10)