[quote]You've just landed the guy of your dreams. Now that you've found him, let him know how much you appreciate his presence in your life by being a good girlfriend.[/quote] Step 1 [spoiler]Take it slow. Don't cook a three-course meal for the first date, but do cook for him soon. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple of dates. Don't start talking about marriage and children before you've even met his friends. The beginning is a precious time when you both feel like you're walking on air just because you're together. Eventually this phase will pass and you'll hit bumps in the road that will test your relationship and during those times you'll both look back to the memories from the beginning to remember why you're in it. So don't bring up any issues prematurely and make the beginning of your relationship stressful. Let it take its natural course. Cherish your time together--it's the only time this person will be new to you. That doesn't mean you should be an obsessive girlfriend and crave every second of his time. Relax. Be patient. Enjoy.[/spoiler] Step 2 [spoiler]Be honest. While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way. Love him and let him know.[/spoiler] Step 3 [spoiler]Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a good sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.[/spoiler] Step 4 [spoiler]Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way--you can be humble and outspoken at the same time.[/spoiler] Step 5 [spoiler]Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress.[/spoiler] Step 6 [spoiler]Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, some thing he collects or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too. Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so whenever he looks at it he'll think of you and smile.[/spoiler] Step 7 [spoiler]Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally. But do make sure he knows that you are always there for him. Be yourself Don't lie to impress him, don't try to make him jealous, don't lead him on if your not into everything. Those things are wrong, and if you feel the need to do that then you don't know the meaning of a true relationship. Be honest and open with him. If the two of you are mature then you will handle it correctly. Ultimate Sexy Don't be afraid to be seductive. Men find it irresistible when a woman is sexy, classy, and confident. Confidence is the ultimate type of sexy.[/spoiler] [b]Tips[/b] [spoiler]As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. If your boyfriend is acting passive towards you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative, because you have had more experience with relationships than he has. Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together. Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. You don't have to listen to every piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to. Don't always criticize men, it doesn't go well, however constructive criticism has its place. Let him know he's right when he is. Don't forget that he has a life of his own. Just because he didn't call you back for 10 minutes doesn't mean he's been cheating. You cannot be his one and only focus all the time. Don't ever let him tell you how to live your life. Don't let him pressure you and be open about things. But don't tell him how to live his life either.[/spoiler] [b]Warning[/b] [spoiler]DO not flirt with his friends! No matter how adorable they are to you, you need to assure him that he is the only guy for you. Don't be annoying. Never lie. Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex. It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure he is allowed to do the same with his friends; but don't let him talk about you like an object. Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result with a lot of problems and difficulties within your relationship. Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely things that mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents and make sure they like you. Try doing little things like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister. Boys feel insecure and like compliments too! Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. Don't go out with a guy who you never talk to in person and only talk to on the phone or instant message. Then the guy will think you are scared to talk to him in person or you just don't care about the relationship. Don't be too sexual with your boyfriend. If you're always doing something sexual, he'll think that's all you're good for and he won't treat you with the respect that he should. Remember to keep it slow.[/spoiler]

Last edited by forsakendoll (2010-07-14 13:41:18)