Hmm... looks interesting.
Though this line needs some fixing.
[quote=Daniera_cHan122;#3601449;1274803127]Both Denny and Shaun said to their self. As they grew up, their love for Annabel grew as they spend time
with each other.[/quote]
Because they're referring to their selves, so the sentences must imply to them.
Just use double quotes for monologues or contextual dialect.
Hope to see more.
Last edited by Ephemeral (2010-05-25 12:19:11)