UPDATED!!!! AYAN NA! ACTIVE NA ULIT AKO, EVERYDAY KO NA TO MA-UPDATE! :'D So I hope you ike this chapter, ive been very happy these past few days, so Di ko macarry na ipagpatuloy gawing sad ang storya, so I decided to make it happy again. Hope you'll like it. Pm's are back again. [font="Impact"][size=6][color=#A0522D]Chapter Ten[/color][/size][/font] [spoiler]A week passed by... The pain that had a hold on my heart was slowly but surely fading away... You must be wondering what I did for the past week? I've been moping around...like some sort of sick person... For the first few days I refused to eat... I refused to talk to anyone who came near me... As if I were struck with some kind lightning...I realized that there were so many more important things in life... I'm almost turning 20...I'm still young... I didn't need to be shedding endless tears over some idiot who totally humiliated me and shattered my heart... There are people dying out there of actual starvation... While I sat in a corner of my room crying and starving myself... The world was unfair... Some people were dying because of the war...some were dying because of HIV...some were dying because they were too poor and couldn't afford to buy food... I felt ashamed of myself... Why was I acting so stupid when I had so many of the privileges that other people dreamt of having? Why was I purposely trying to harm myself? As I looked into the mirror... I didn't see me anymore... I saw a pitiful girl staring back at me... Her eyes filled with sorrow and fear... Her dry lips were starting to crack... Her cheeks were pale... The slight tint of rosy in her cheeks were gone... Tears filled my eyes as I looked at her... Shaking my head... I refused to believe that I had become her again... Doing the first thing that I thought made sense at the time... I slammed my fists into the mirror... The mirror cracked... And slowly...pieces started to fall... And as I stared at the falling pieces... The girl who was staring at me... ...was no longer there.... I heard a loud scream as someone rushed into the room... I saw Jae Yung's worried face coming towards me... But I could only smile... I refused to be that girl in the mirror... I refused to sit in the room all day crying... I refused to let my heart hurt any longer because of him... I refused to be someone that I was not... I smiled as tears filled my eyes... This time...they were happy tears... I won't act like someone that I'm not... I won't act foolishly because a fool broke my heart... I will survive through this... And I knew now for sure... That things were finally alright... "Noona..." Jae Yung called out softly as he held on to my hand. We were in the ER now because of my 'slamming-fist-into-mirror-parade'. I looked down at my bandaged hand. Just like this wound will heal in time... I know that my heart would eventually heal in time... "Let's go eat...I'm hungry." I smiled as I hooked an arm around Jae Yung. Jung In oppa was still in school and Young Eun was working, so I told Jae Yung not to bother them. "Noona..." "Yung, can you please stop calling me in that pitiful voice. I'm fine. Really..." I insisted. Jae Yung sighed and nodded. I dragged him to McDonald's. SCREW THE DIET! I'm getting a Big Mac with large fries AND chicken nuggets on the side! Jae Yung stared with his eyes opened wide as I ate my food. "What?" I asked with my mouth full. Jae Yung just chuckled and shook his head. I continued to shove more fries into my mouth. I looked at Jae Yung's face...he looked like he was about to cry... I looked down at my tray...and then to his... OPPS... I think I just ate his share too... Biting my lips, I slowly pushed the fries back on to his tray. "Eat up, Yung-ee." I smiled. Jae Yung just stared at me. "It's okay, noona. You eat...you didn't eat for a week.." "Okay! If you insist!" I said as I grabbed the fries from him and started eating happily again. I love McDonald's! When we got home later that afternoon... Jung In oppa wouldn't stop bitching about the little 'stunt' I pulled earlier. "Orabeoni...we've been on this topic for the past hour. Can we move on now?" I asked before batting my lashes at him. I threw a grin in there as well. "Orabeoni? YAH!" Jung In oppa shouted. I swear for a second I felt the earth shake... Oppa always hated it when I called him orabeoni because he thinks it's old fashioned... [an: orabeoni - formal/honorific way of saying 'oppa'] "Don't act stupid because of a guy, Chain Shin-ah." At his serious tone, my smile faded. "I know, oppa." "Good...if I ever see that twat So Tae Jun...I'll effin' kill that person...." Jung In oppa frowned. "Oppa. Don't waste your time on stupid people..." I said softly before turning away. As much as I hated So Tae Jun for doing what he did to me... He was always there for me... I owe him that much... So Tae Jun, I hope you know that I just saved your pathetic ass. "Noona! You have mail!" I heard Jae Yung call out. I got off the couch and headed towards the front door. I saw Eun Young walking in. Our eyes met for a quick second before my cheeks turned slightly red. Quickly grabbing the mail from Jae Yung, I ran upstairs to my room. Looking down at the envelope, a grin broke out on my face. "YES YES YES!" I shouted as I jumped up and down happily. In approximately 2 seconds the door slammed open and Eun Young walked in. "What's wrong?!" He looked worried for a quick second. "Oh...um...I got accepted into UOS!" I smiled happily. "University of Seoul? But I thought you were going to apply to Yonsei?" Eun Young frowned. "Why? You want to go to the same school as me?" I teased. "N-NO. Who would want to go to the same school with someone who looks like Saint Mary." He spat out. "PARK EUN YOUNG!" "WHAT? SHIN CHAILLEEN!" "Nothing..." I could only give him a sheepish smile. I giggled a little before looking at the letter of acceptance. This was it... This is my new start... "Yah. I asked you a question." Eun Young's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Huh?" "Forget it." Mumbling he quickly turned to leave. "Just tell me!" I said before pulling him back. "Do you want to go out for a while?" He sounded a little shy. Ahh...our Eun Young-ee can feel shy as well? I laughed. "Okay. Let me get ready." I said with a smile. He stared at me for a few seconds as if he couldn't believe that I had agreed to go some place with him. "Do you want to stay and watch me change? Get out!" Sighing I pushed him out of the room and shut the door. I changed into a pair of denim cut-off shorts and a fitted cobalt blue v-neck shirt with white stripes, I wore a white cardigan in case the weather was still cool. I looked in the mirror... My hair grew longer... I quickly tied my hair up into a messy bun. Grabbing a small wristlet that held money and my phone, I ran down stairs. "You going somewhere?" Jung In oppa looked me up and down and a frown started to form on his face. Before he could say a word about my outfit, "Yeah! BYE OPPA! SEE YOU TONIGHT!" Slipping into my white flip-flops, I ran out the door. If I had stayed another second, I would've been forced to change into an 'ahjoomah-ish' outfit that covered my assets. ....not like I had a lot of assets to begin with.... MOVING ON... I pulled out my cellphone and quickly texted Park Eun Young telling him to meet me outside the house. I waited for about a minute before Park Eun Young came out. He was wearing a fitted white T-shirt and a pair of checkered bermuda shorts. God...does this guy have to look hot in EVERYTHING he wears. It's almost summer so the weather was cool... "Where are we going?" I asked as I hopped over to him with excitement. "You'll see when we get there..." As usual he started to walk ahead of me. I was about to make a comment about his bad habbit when he stopped and looked back. "You coming?" I caught up to him and we headed to the bus stop. "Can I at least have a clue? Just a tiny hint?" I pouted. "It's a place that makes everyone happy..." He muttered. It took us about an hour to arrive at our destination. The only thing I could see and hear was happy... There was happy music everywhere... There were kids running around holding on to balloons with their parents chasing after them... There was a huge sign that said 'Everland'. "OH MY GOD! I LOVE EVERLAND!" I said happily as I started to drag eun young towards the entrace to get our tickets. [AN: Everland- Famous themepark in Korea.] Park Eun Young paid, of course! "I haven't been here since I was a kid!" "I've never been here..." I turned to look at him. "You've never been to Everland?" I gasped. Come on, Everland is like every kids fantasy. You want your parents to take you there so you can play! "...my father was always busy at work...so...shall we go on that ride over there?" Eun Young quickly changed the topic. He pointed in the direction of something that looked like a round spinning wheel. Hmm... Okay! "Let's go! That looks fun!" I started to pull him towards the line up. The ride was called 'Hurricane'. Once we got in the line up, I could see Eun Young's normally calm face starting to panic a little. "It's going to be fun." I nudged him. He played around with his hands and nodded. "Yah...why are you acting like you're going to die?" I asked with a frown. "I'm not...just...the only ride I've ever been on was a merry-go-round at a carnival..." I blinked. Where the heck have your parents been hiding you, Park Eun Young? "This is like a merry-go-round...it just spins up and down and goes faster and faster." I gave him a warm smile. When it was finally our turn, I rushed to get two seats for the both of us. I put my seat belt on and as I watched him struggle with his, I buckled it for him. He was hanging on to the metal bars as if his life depended on it. I giggled. "Yah. Saint Mary. Shut up." He shot me a nasty glare. I stuck my tongue out at him. I started to get really excited when the ride finally started to move. "Oh my god. Oh my god. We're moving!" I said happily as I kicked my feet around. All I could hear was Park Eun Young's cussing and asking himself why the hell he brought me here. I could only laugh as the ride started to swing up and down and spin us round and round faster and faster. While I was laughing my ass off...not a squeak was heard from Park Eun Young. When the ride finally came to a stop I removed the belt... I turned to look at Park Eun Young. He sat very still, not moving at all. "Yah..." I poked him in the shoulder. He blinked. "That was fun. Let's do it again." He said as he quickly unbuckled himself and pulled me towards the exit. "No...let's go on another one! The park closes at 9pm and it's almost 5pm!" I shouted as I pulled him in another direction. "But I liked that one..." Seriously, I thought I'd seen all the sides of Park Eun Young but that obviously wasn't true. Because there he was... Standing in front of me... ...acting like a little kid... I laughed. "What?" He looked confused. "We'll come back to that one okay? Let's go play the others first." For the rest of that afternoon I dragged him all over the park... We went on about at least 10 rides before getting hungry. It was around 8pm when we went to a cafe to grab a bite. "We should go to Caribbean Bay next time." I said before taking a bite of my burger. "Why? No one would want to see you in a bikini...." YoEun Young laughed at his own stupid comment. I glared at him. His smile faded and he faked a cough before continuing to eat. [AN: Caribbean Bay- Water park which is part of Everland as well] We ate in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up, "I'll take you when I get paid next week." "REALLY?!" I looked up at him with a smile on my face. He nodded before shoving the last bit of burger in his mouth. "You're not joking but you're really going to take me?" He rolled his eyes and nodded. "CAN WE TAKE THE OPPA'S AND YUNG-EE?" My voice was filled with excitement. "Yeah why not. Who are the 'oppa's'" Eun Young raised an eyebrow. "Ha Min oppa, Min Jun oppa, Do Hyeong oppa, Sang Il oppa and Jung In oppa." I blinked. Duh. Those are the ONLY oppa's I know. "The more the merrier." Park Eun Young mumbled before taking a sip of his coke. I smiled. After we washed up in the washroom, we headed home. Oppa left a note on the fridge saying that they left to go watch a movie with a bunch of his friends. Grabbing two cans of beer, I walked out to the backyard. Leaning against the wall, Eun Young was smoking a ciggarette. Handing him a can of beer, I sat down on the patio set. After finishing up his cigarette he sat down in the chair across from me. Opening a can of beer he took a sip. I looked at him. "Park Eun Young...you are really good looking." Shocked by the words that I had just said, he placed the can down and looked at me. "...no I'm not...don't say that again." With an upset frown he walked off. "What's wrong with you?" A frown was starting to form on my forehead. I got up and quickly followed after him. He was about to light up another cigarette when I pulled the cigarette away from him. "Nothing. I just don't like to hear stuff like that..." He sighed as he tried to snatch his cigarette back. I hid it behind my back. Park Eun Young... You know so many things about me...but I don't really know anything about you... "I'll wait until you want to tell me...you know a million things about me...yet I know none about you..." I said softly. "I don't like superficial things." He sat down on the steps. "I don't like how people only look my way just because I look different from others. I hated it when I was young and I still hate it now...I hate being treated differently. Most of all, I hate the way people judge. Just because I might look better then a few guys out there doesn't mean that I deserve more attention. I hate being placed under a scope...there are people out there who have achieved more than I ever have. Who have done more for people than I ever did...don't those people deserve to be looked at too? Are they not just humans?" When he spoke, I could tell this was something he was very passionate about. "But you have fan sites and a lot of girls like you-" Before I could finish he cut me off. "A lot of girls like the way I look. Honestly I still feel like that fat kid who was trapped in the gym storage room...I still feel like that fat kid stuck in a 20 year old's body..." He said softly as he looked down at his hands. I didn't know what to say... So I sat down beside him quietly... Park Eun Young was insecure... He was scared that people only liked him for his looks... "I'd be lying if I said you weren't good looking...but you are. You worked so hard to lose weight and get to where you are now...so why do you still feel so insecure?" I paused. "When I was younger...about 16 or 17 years old. I met my first love. That time everything felt magical and I felt as if I were floating on a cloud. At that time...I still believed in the word 'forever'. We did everything together...I lost my first kiss to him...I lost my virginity to him...I also managed to lose everything because of him. When he broke up with me, I felt as if my whole world collapsed. I didn't take the break up too well...I started to build this silly.......this really stupid wall up in front of me...I started to become someone that I was not. I did things differently, I got high on all the drugs you could imagine...I tried everything I could to change myself. I tried so hard to make it look like I didn't give a shit when I really did...I was slowly changing...then one day when I looked into the mirror...I realized that the reflection that was staring back at me wasn't me anymore...I could only see the hatred and pain that he had caused...a terrible fear engulfed me. The Shin Chailleen that I had thought I'd known was gone...and today...as I looked in the mirror again...I saw her staring back at me with those eyes that were filled with sorrow...I don't want to be her again...I don't want to hurt people because I was in pain...I don't want to lie to myself anymore...I didn't want to feel so bitter because of someone. Sooner or later you'll realize that you're just making yourself miserable..." "What are you trying to say?" His question was curt but I could tell he was feeling a little frustrated. "What I'm trying to say is...stop trying to build a wall to stop people from getting too close to you...stop trying to be someone you're not." I said softly as I looked at him. His eyes froze up, he turned back into the cold Park Eun Young that I'd first met. "What's the point? I always end up getting hurt anyway." He said softly before getting up and walking back into the house. As I watched as his retreating figure disappear... I realized that I'd found someone who was just like me... I found someone that I needed to help... Park Eun Young...I'm going to teach you how to love yourself...[/spoiler]

Last edited by SvperGirl (2010-05-29 21:28:29)