Okay, sorry sa suuuper late update guys. Don't worry, ginawa ko tong chapter na to specially para sainyo. Gosh, kinikilig ako habang ni-re-rewrite ko to sa wordpad from my notebook. Kasi kanina galing school, wala akong ginagawa sa bahay so I decided to continue chapter nineteen while mom's using the laptop. So, ayun, na update narin. Finally.. pano niyan? one more chapter to go and tapos na story ko? D: Basahin niyo na lang kasi yung isa ko pang story, yung 'You're such a terrible liar!' maganda rin yun. Anyways, may lemonade scene dito, so..brace yourselves. Hahahaha.. [font="Impact"][size=6][color=#A0522D]Chapter Nineteen[/color][/size][/font] [spoiler]For some reason my thoughts kept trailing off to the items and notes that were still sitting in my locker. The part that bothered me the most was that I knew that Park Eun Young wasn't the type of guy to do those kind of things for someone. I felt awful that my mind was in a mess but I didn't feel awful about not planning on forgiving his sorry ass any time soon. I mean...why the hell would a guy help out his ex-girlfriend? Especially one who cheated on him and got pregnant with some other guy's kid?! The fact that Eun Young was rich enough to live in a house with his own brother...the fact that...he WORKED even when he didn't HAVE to bothered the sh.it out of me. Whenever I thought about the bi.tch who did this to him, I felt sick to my stomach. Out of all this...I think the biggest part that disappointed me was...the fact that I thought I understood him...all those times that I thought I knew him...I was disappointed in myself for not being able to understand his heart...not being able to understand the fact that he had a good heart under all that coldness...maybe if I just tried to understand...maybe if I let him explain...things wouldn't be where they were now. But everytime I finally manage to talk myself into forgiving him, my mind kept reminding me of how he hid the truth from me. What he did was not as bad as what Tae Jun did...but...this is a completely different thing...this nearly ripped my heart apart. The fact that he was most likely a dad to another kid was what killed me. Tears that I've tried to hard to hold in...filled my eyes. I kept trying to blink the tears back to stop them from falling. "Are okay?" Tae Min oppa asked as he handed me a tissue. I nodded and turned away. God...how long is this class going to go on for?! Finally after giving out our readings for the day, the teacher ended class. Grabbing all my stuff, I walked out and headed towards the locker. Opening the locker, I spotted a bright orange note that hadn't been placed there earlier. 'think....' O M F G , Eun Young just needs to stop with these stupid ONE word notes. As I was about to discard that one, I saw a green one beside it. 'That...I....' I tried to search the locker again for any other notes but didn't spot any. "Chai Shin-ah, do you want to go for food?" Tae Min oppa asked as he approached me. "Sure, I'm dying of hunger anyway." I forced a small smile before shoving my textbooks into the locker. Tae Min said, "When are you NOT hungry?" "Shut up." I shot him a glare. He just laughed it off and led the way to the food place. I'm just secretly happy that Bobo left class early today. When we reached the food place, Tae Min oppa ordered a bunch of food for us. "Your treat?" I asked. "...sure..." Tae Min oppa mumbled. "Cheap ass." "I'm only able to work 2 days a week because of school!" I complained. "That's your own problem that you can't deal with both at the same time." Tae Min oppa teased. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him. But then a familiar voice froze my heart. "Saint Mary," The voice that I haven't heard in a week called out. I quickly turned to the direction that his voice came from. Eun Young's eyes looked back and forth between Tae Min oppa and I. A frown started to form on his forehead. "Get up," Eun Young said coldly. "What?" I snapped. "I said get up." He said again. "Just leave me al-" My words were cut off. "I hate repeating myself. I'm waiting outside." Eun Young turned around and left the restaurant. I stared at his retreating figure before letting out a bitter laugh. God, I can't believe he just man-handled me like that! "Do you want me to take care of that fu.ck?" Tae Min oppa looked at me with a serious face. "No it's okay, oppa. I'll take care of it..." Sighing, I got up and left the restaurant. I knew that Tae Min oppa would've probably got his ass kicked if he tried to start something with Eun Young. Once I spotted Eun Young, I walked towards him. "What do you want?" I snapped as I looked at him. The look that he gave me was not one that I expected. Fear clouded his eyes as he looked at me. "Did you just drag me out here to play who can keep quiet the most?" I spat out. Ignoring the pain in my heart. For some reason, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I wanted him to feel jealous because I was smiling at someone else that was not him. I wanted him to feel angry just because he thinks that he doesn't matter to me anymore. I wanted him to regret losing me. "...you've moved on quickly." He smiled bitterly. "What the hell are you talking about?" I felt irritated. "It's only been a week ever since we broke up and you're already out with a guy." W T F ?! He thinks I'm dating Tae Min oppa?! "Are you fu.cking crazy?" "Look...whatever game you're playing right now. Just stop....this is stupid. We broke up over something stupid. Why are you acting like this?" Eun Young's voice was soft as he looked at me. "Why am I acting like this? Are you really asking me that?!" I shouted. "Yeah, I am really asking you that. This is tiring. The only thing I'm doing is helping out with her daycare fees for Gyu Ri....that's it." "You don't think this is tiring for me too? I told you to leave me alone. We're better off without each other." I snapped. "Saint Mary, I'm not playing around right now. Once I leave...we're done for good." Eun Young's face hardened. "Then leave. Go." My heart was hurting so badly...even as my heart was crying out for him not to leave...for him not to give up on me...just wait a bit longer...but those stupid words came out of my mouth instead. "Chai Shin-ah..." Eun Young's strained voice called out. I turned away. "You think I like being like this with you? I hate fighting with you...this is going to get tiring..." "I'm telling you to leave ! Why are you always in my business?! You always try to make me do things that I don't want to do and I hate that. I can't even buy a bathing suit without you giving me the okay!" I shouted. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" And that's when it felt like the whole sky fell and crashed on top of me. The pain in my heart faded for a second as I looked into his eyes. Biting his lip, he turned away and sighed. "Maybe...you're right...we're probably better off apart. Maybe...if I came to you earlier and tried to explain....maybe I was too late. All those....all the times that I was being difficult was only because I was looking out for you." He looked defeated. As I opened me mouth to speak, Eun Young said, "I'm tired...I'm really tired. I've tried to show you my heart...to show you how much you've changed me...all those things I've done the past few days...I wanted so badly to show you that you didn't just teach me how to love myself. You didn't just teach me how to appreciate good things. You taught my heart...how to love you...how to show you in different ways that you're always on my mind. You taught me all that in those few months, Shin Chailleen. To me...it's the litte things that matter. What flavor Pocky you like or what kind of coffee you drink to stay awake during the night...from the way your cheeks turn a bright red when I kiss you right under your chin...the way you sneak silly smiles at me when you thought I wasn't looking...the way you always think you're fat or not pretty enough...but....you're beatiful...you're the most beautiful girl in every single way to me..." "Eun Young-ah..." I whispered softly. "Those three words...that was the first time I've ever said it to anyone. Congratulations, Shin Chailleen. You've just trampled all over my heart like it was nothing at all..." My heart stopped and tears spilled out of my eyes. "Take care of yourself." Eun Young forced a small smile before he finally turned and left. My legs....the legs that had always been good at running and chasing after people...couldn't move. I stood there watching as he walked away. My heart fell... "Eun Young-ah...." His name escaped my lips much later. Forgive me for being a coward... Even though I knew that my heart...loved you...I wanted to be selfish... I didn't want this pain again... I finally managed to make it home without falling apart on the street... Knowing that he was living close by...eased the pain a little... Because I knew that he would be safe...some place close to me... "Noona..." Jae Yung said as he picked up the watch that Eun Young gave me for my birthday. "What?" I asked. "This watch...this was the only reason why hyung didn't come to explain to you earlier..." Jae Yung said as he sat down on the bed beside me. "It doesn't matter anymore......." I said softly as I wiped my tears. "He's been saving ever since we got back from the vacation...when he realized that he didn't have enough still to buy the watch...he got a second job to cover the cost of the watch...." My heart stopped. "What?" "He was working two jobs for the past 2 weeks so that he could get you this watch." Jae Yung said before placing the watch in my hand. "Noona, I know that you're really mad at hyung right now. But...he went through a lot to get you what you wanted for your birthday....don't you think you should just forgive him? He barely got any sleep the past week...he didn't sleep for 2 days straight trying to get all the stuff ready for your birthday. After he stayed up to do your essay, he went straight to your school to put all those things in your locker before heading straight to class." I stayed quiet. A billion things ran through my mind at the speed of light. I couldn't breathe... [i]"Saint Mary, I'm not playing around right now. Once I leave...we're done for good." Yoon Sung's face hardened.[/i] A pang of pain shot through my heart. I finally realized how stubborn I was being about everything...I should've just forgiven him...for all those things he did for me...for all the love that he'd been trying to show me... I got off the bed and ran as fast as I could to his house... I stood there thinking for a while... He'd put effort into telling me that he loved me... While I didn't make an effort at all... Sighing, I took one last glance at his house before dragging my feet all the way back to my house. So for the rest of the night, I stayed up doing the best I could to show him my heart. After sewing and putting the final touches on the hand made doll...I wrote 'I'm sorry, I love you' on it's chest. Smiling happy, I took a look again at the creepy looking doll in front of me. This probably isn't the best looking doll but...this was my heart.... So I called a grumpy Sang Il oppa at 6AM that morning...with a bright and happy voice asking if he could open the door for me. With my heart in my hands...I walked all the way to Eun Young's house... Greeting Sang Il oppa happily...I ran all the way up the stairs and opened Eun Young's room door softly. The night light was on and I spotted Eun Young's foot peeking out of the covers. Tissues were all over the bed and floor when I entered... That silly guy....did he cry? Walking quietly over to his bed...I hid the doll behind my back... I nudged his sleeping figure a little but he didn't budge. So I started to pull the covers down a little...he was still sleeping and his eyes were puffy. "O M F G ! FIRE!" I shouted into his ear. Eun Young's eyes shot opened and he sat up quickly. He looked around in panic before finally spotting me. He blinked his bloodshot eyes a few times before grumbling and pulling the covers over his face. "What are you doing here?" I heard his grouchy voice coming from under the blanket. "I'm here to give you something." "I don't want it. Take it with you and leave. I already told you that it's really over if I left." His words didn't bring me down. Instead, I smiled and poked him again. "Eun Young-ah, just look at what I brought you." "I ALREADY SAID I DON'T WANT IT SO JUST TAKE IT WITH YOU AND LEAVE!" Eun Young finally shouted as he emerged from the blanket. Startled, I accidentally dropped the doll. "What the fu.ck is that ugly thing?" He pointed towards the doll. "THAT WAS MY FU.CKING HEART YOU JACK ASS!" I screamed before I stormed of angrily. God, that stupid fu.ck ! I guess the 'Giving him my heart' method didn't fuc.king work. God, I hate life. God, I hate people that post advice on love websites about the best 10 ways to apologize for hurting someone. Making a doll? MAKING A FU.CKING DOLL THAT WAS MY HEART MY ASS! I probably woke up the whole house when I slammed the front door of the house shut but I didn't care. I walked up the stairs angrily before entering my room. "I can't believe I stayed up all night working on that ugly piece of shi.t doll." Mumbling, I got under the covers and tried to sleep. I heard the door knob turning open slowly. "Jae Yung go away." I snapped angrily. But that stupid idiot didn't listen...I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the bed before they finally stopped. Removing the covers I was about to let all hell loose but I saw Park Eun Young's face instead. Smiling, he placed the doll on my tummy. "Sorry I took so long...I would've ran straight over after your episode but I had to brush my teeth first." Eun Young grinned. I smacked him in the head. "WHAT THE FU.CK?! You allowed me to be angry for 5 whole minutes thinking about what a waste of time making you that thing was- JUST TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH?!" I snapped. "You made it?" The stupid grin didn't come off his face. I rolled my eyes. "I had to brush my teeth if I wanted to do this...." Eun Young's eyes were fixed on my lips and in two seconds- his soft lips were pressed against mine. I felt my arms wrap around him tightly. Pulling away, he looked at me. "I love you...I know that we've only known each other for a few months but I think I fell in love with you the moment you ran towards like your brother like a mad woman trying to save him..." Eun Young said softly. I smiled happily before planting another kiss on his lips. He kissed me again and again on the lips slowly. I shifted over on the bed a little to give him room. He broke he kiss and muttered a curse. "Hang on. Let me go shut the door." He muttered before running off to shut the door. He appeared 2 seconds later with a smile on his face as he got in bed with me. "Why the fu.ck is it so cold in your room?" He grumbled before pulling the covers over him. "Who the hell told you to run over in a wife beater?" I glared at him. "It's summer...you don't expect me to wear a sweater just because I'm coming over do you?" Eun Young rolled his eyes. "All I'm saying is...just wear a sweater next time when you come over." "But I'm going to sweat on the way here..." "Park Eun Young." "Saint Mary." "Shut up and kiss me." Eun Young gave me the sweetest smile ever before leaning in and placing a kiss on my lips. He kissed me with so much force and passion that it nearly knocked me over. Smiling a little as my lips were still pressed against him, I kissed him back softly. I felt his hands slip around my waist as he pulled me over on top of him. As our kiss deepened, I felt his hands slowly playing with the hem of my shirt. I broke the kiss and looked down at him. His cheeks turned a slight red and he smiled at me. Sighing he said, "You're so fu.cking beautiful you know that?" That alone...was enough to make my heart melt into a puddle. I kissed him on the forehead softly before placing a kiss on his lips gently. He brought his hands up to my face and cupped my cheeks so softly as he returned my kiss. This time...his kiss was different. What started off as slow and gentle slowly turned into something more agressive and hard. His hands found the bottom of my shirt and slowly he lifted my shirt up. I pulled away immediately. "Are you even sure you're ready for this?" I asked. Clearly still a little out of breath from the kiss. "Do you just turn a guy on and then ask him that?" Eun Young teased. I laughed. "I mean...that I don't want to do anything that you don't want to or unsure of.........." My words trailed off. "Right now...I'm a 21 year old virgin...with a beautiful girl on top of me...and in love...I don't think that there's anything that I could be unsure of." Let's just stop right there. The rest was R-rated and I'm sure readers would have to read with their eyes shut- wait that's impossible. Let's just say...the clothes were off...the room door was already locked...and everything else stays between Eun Young and I. 10 minutes later... "That's it?" I asked looking at Eun Young. "..............." He stayed silent. "You're faster then superman..." ".......wait." Eun Young said softly before getting out of bed. "Wait for what?" "Just shut up." And he disappeared into the washroom. A few minutes later he came back out and jumped in bed beside me. He gave me a naughty smile before pulling me against him. "What are you doing?" I asked with a frown. "I'm ready to prove to you that I'm a man."[/spoiler]