here's mine: [quote]Woman with a baby in the bus: Driver: What an ugly baby! The mother was hurt so she transferred to another sit. The man next to her said, "What's wrong lady?" Woman: The driver insulted me and my baby! Man: They should respect you! Go get his name and i'll hold your monkey.[/quote] [quote]This is a crime story: 5 friends lived in one house. Namely Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody and Nobody. One day Somebody killed Nobody . That time Brain was in the bathroom. Mad called police. Mad: Is this police station? Police: Yes, whats the matter? Mad: Somebody killed nobody. Police: Are you mad? Mad: Yes, i am! Police: Don't you have brain? Mad: Brain is in the bathroom! Police: You fool! Mad: No! Fool is busy reading this message![/quote] [quote]Common Filipino Mistakes: 1. ale, pabili nang colgate, yung closeup. 2. sirado mo pinto! lalabas ang aircon! 3.yaya, salubungin mo yung school bus ni jr. 4. anak, tumabi ka sa sasakyan ha. 5. tinukha ako nang ahas! 6. may tonsil ako! 7. may candy ako, ayaw mo? 8. tulog ka na? [mlaman mo ba kung 0o?] 9. lowbat ako eh![/quote] [quote]Baliw tumawag sa mental: baliw: hello. may tao pa ba sa room 64? nurse: wla na eh. tumakas kasi. bakit? baliw: sinigurado ko lng kung nakatakas ba ako.[/quote] [quote]Mr. Bean was sick so he went to his doctor. The doctor gave him a tablet. Mr. Bean started cutting the sides of it. Doctor: Why are you cutting the sides? Mr. Bean: To avoid side effects! duh![/quote]