christie eats lightning and farts thunder. Most people fear the Reaper. christie considers him "a promising Rookie". christie grinds her coffee with her teeth and boils the water with her own rage. christie sleeps with a night light. Not because christie is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of christie. christie does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls. When christie talks, everybody listens. And dies. Divide christie by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is. christie once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of her "Filet of Child" sandwich. The easiest way to determine christie's age is to cut her in half and count the rings. christie is like a dog, not only because she can smell fear, but because she can piss on whatever she wants. hahahaha!!