one day there was a boy send a massage to his father!!! but his younger brother wrote the massage that his kuya is a good boy but his kuya get mad becaus he is a girl pala

[quote]Pregnant unwed daughter A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"[/quote] hahaha

here's i wanna share. its about 80 year old man marries 20 year old woman... The marriage of an 80 year old white man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?' The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old motor running.' The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, 'Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?' The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old motor running.' A year later, the couple r eturned to the hospital for the birth of their third child. The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, 'Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?' The old man replied, 'It's like I've told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running.' The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said, 'Well, I guess it's time to change the oil. This one's black.'

lol!!! this thread isreally funny!!!heres mine A jeepney and an Airplane crashed. Where is the site of huge casualties? answer: Graveyard... get it? Knock Knock whose there I wanna kill myself... are you serious? well I've been having these dark thoughts lately. And when I look at my body in the mirror my male parts make me sick utter silence for... well... 10 secs... then phone rings... ninja unplugs phone cable. I'm just telling a joke man! ok ok... do it again :)Knock knock Whos there if you say a word I'll shoot my self. :ninja:if you say a --- I have a gun silent time of 2 secs I do. I have a gun Listen, man.... Is there soomething you want to tell me? (nods his head) It's... CAlled a joke!!! hha God!!! when will you stop making the jokes! I'm just making--- Youre missing the point! :)knock knock whose there?! I'm gonna kill myself I'm gonna kill myself who?! Smileys hangs himself after the ninja blinked Ninja stares at the corpse. and is lik O.O I dont get it... Yeah I know, it sucks... But just use your imagination and Visualise it clearly... you'll get it... eventually

^ speaking of marriage. heres a short story about a couple who is celebrating their golden anniv. entitled [b]'How to Stay Married Forever[/b] [quote]A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once." "We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I shouted at her, "What 's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once." "And from that moment... we have lived happily ever after."[/quote] another one: [b]Applicant applying as a Secretary[/b] [quote]Deer Sir, I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well. I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited. I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr. Sinseerly, Peggy May Starlings PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb. .. ... .... .....[/quote] [img]http://i31.tinypic.com/kdpxli.jpg[/img] [b]Employer's Reply:[/b] Dear Peggy, It's OK honey, we've got spell check..... Welcome onboard!!!

Last edited by ak0cs3m (2008-02-09 10:25:53)

knock knock who's there akomaba akomaba who?

Sorry Not English But Funny Tho [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl6jfOEPJGk[/youtube]

[b][color=#ff6699]An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.[/color][/b]

[b]Why Parents Have Gray Hair A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home! [/b]

[b]ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE[/b] [i]It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes, and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it! A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition." Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said...[/i] "Clean my house." [b]YOU GO, GIRL!!!![/b]

Last edited by angelalaine (2008-03-24 07:45:18)