the jokes here are funny.. i would research some soon...

in jollibee.. igorot: miss, my order will be one bottle of honey.. sales lady : we dont sell honey here.. igorot: what ? you dont sell.. hey woman!! dont lie to me.. theres a big bee outside, then you say there's nothing..dont trick me..im not ignorant..give me now!!!!give meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

french lessons: French lesson Cough: o vou Ashes: a vou Naked: hu vou Car: re vou Baloon: lo vou Drugs: sha vou Gud bye: va vou Cute: a cou Ikaw: ga gou

[b]nice joke..guyzz..luv iitt[/b]

[align=center][color=hotpink] [b] ahahaha! that's funny some more! [/b][/color][/align]

[quote=riana21.punkemorock]french lessons: French lesson Cough: o vou Ashes: a vou Naked: hu vou Car: re vou Baloon: lo vou Drugs: sha vou Gud bye: va vou Cute: a cou Ikaw: ga gou[/quote] I love this one!! bwahahaha!!

Things My Mother Taught Me --Anything sound familiar? 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. --'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. --'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. --'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. --'Because I said so, that's why.' 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. --'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. --'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.' 7. My mother taught me IRONY. --'Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.' 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. --'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. --'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!' 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. --'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. --'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.' 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. --'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. --I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.' 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. --'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. --'Just wait until your father gets home.' 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. --'You are going to get it when you get home!' 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. --'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.' 18. My mother taught me ESP. --'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. --'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.' 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. --'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' 21. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. --'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?' 22. My mother taught me WISDOM. --'When you get to be my age, you'll understand =========================================== Dear Wife - I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment .And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. ================================================= A boy goes over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and ######### for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents' house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. the boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Last edited by MaLDiTaNg_SaDe (2008-09-10 15:46:16)

[quote=MaLDiTaNg_SaDe]Things My Mother Taught Me --Anything sound familiar? 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. --'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. --'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. --'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. --'Because I said so, that's why.' 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. --'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. --'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.' 7. My mother taught me IRONY. --'Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.' 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. --'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. --'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!' 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. --'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. --'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.' 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. --'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. --I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.' 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. --'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. --'Just wait until your father gets home.' 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. --'You are going to get it when you get home!' 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. --'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.' 18. My mother taught me ESP. --'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. --'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.' 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. --'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' 21. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. --'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?' 22. My mother taught me WISDOM. --'When you get to be my age, you'll understand[/quote] i super love this. hahaha. it [b]do[/b] sounds like my mom. lol

hahahaha! it's so funny! really love this page! i really love ftalk... hope you like this story too... [b]bad butler[/b] A wealthy couple prepared to go out for the evening. The woman of the house gave their butler, Jervis, the night off. She said they would return home very late, and she hoped he would enjoy his evening. The wife wasn't having a good time at the party. So, she came home early, alone. Her husband stayed on, socializing with important clients. As the woman walked into her house, she found Jervis by himself in the dining room. She called him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She turned to him and said, in the voice she knew he must obey, "Jervis, I want you to take off my dress." This he did, hanging it carefully over a chair. "Jervis," she continued, "now take off my stockings and garter belt." Again, Jervis silently obeyed. "Now, Jervis, I want you to remove my bra and panties." Eyes downcast, Jervis obeyed. Both were breathing heavily, the tension mounting between them. She looked sternly at him and said, "Jervis, if I ever catch you wearing my stuff again, you're fired!" [b]husband mart[/b] A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love, kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think. What must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day

Last edited by kikay-in-pink (2008-09-25 09:05:37)

[align=center][color=deeppink][b]This is a dialog from a mag...From Kokko & May. [hr] Kokko: Daddy,Why is Aman the best swimmer in the school?? Daddy: Because Aman lieks to eat fishes,Daddy dosn't liek to it fishes. Kokko: Oh,,So daddy lieks to eat chicken.So daddy can lay eggs right? Daddy: YOU NAUGHTY BOYY!!!! [hr] IDK if it's funy..it's just dialogs..if it's not correct thread,delete this post... [/b][/color][/align]