11 / 26 / 2008 -Wednesday Dear Deedee, Today? Quite different than the usual. Tsk. I'm so sick of this day.Lewl. Well.. Today..my friend..seems to be different. Hmm? Yea. It's so not usual. Very awkward. Maybe were both concious? Oh yea. I hate it because my classmates teases us. . i miss our bond. lewl. Well..lately..i just told him he's a GAY..i dunno. it just came out..then i think he got mad. Tsk. He is mad. The following happenings went awkward. I hate this. I wondered..my laughing rate is low. My smile count is not anymore countless. Oh. I hate this .. ..Ive been looking at him secretly. Ive been reading his expressions all day. But i failed. I dunno what's with him. He's wierder than ever. Tsss.. Well..today also. I remembered ALL my past! As in ALL! Not past bf or sumtin. Past crushes or sumtin? Yea. sort of. But also include my frst bf . Lewl. I still consider myself as NBSB. .. Hu cares if i'm not anymore? He's juz one and i dont consider him as a bf..okei? Well..i remembered him bcoz my friends went chixmax about him. And i juz..like saying..OKAY..[i]watever[/i]..Hu cares about that jerk? No one. What is lyk to have no crush? It's like hell i think. Yea. Dont have crush or sum1 to love. and I'm not joking. I wanna cry out loud right now. But i cant. Maybe i cud just weep or silently cry. Reasons for crying? Nothing. I dunno. My mind is so full of useless matters that becomes a useful something. Tss. Do u know what it's like to be like me? to be hurt? to be lost? ..dang! I'm getting too emotional .WTH. Well look hus talking? Carmela Garcia? A science class stud? a consistent achiever? a sketchmaster ? a storywriter? a computer literate ? a math geek? what else? you think i'm darn happy about those "names"? Hell not! I may be like this..like that. But i feeeeelll realllyyy incomplete! Darn myself for bein so naive all the time. Sorrryyy..i'm getting to emotional. My grammars arent right. I'm very [i]magulo[/i]..cant understand myselfff.. WTF! Help me Lord..( music: [spoiler]Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna runaway? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more? Before your life is over Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life No one ever lied straight to your face No one ever stabbed you in the back You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay Everybody always gave you what you wanted Never had to work it was always there You don't know what it's like, what it's like To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like (what it's like) To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Welcome to my life Welcome to my life[/spoiler] [align=right]Love, carmx[/align]

Last edited by alemracloveyajr (2008-11-26 10:56:05)