to: [b]h312y_sh[/b] well i want to share some... [spoiler]question: why do you think she wants to come back to you? always remember that we are pertaining about your MARRIGE... if im not mistaken. nwei as gloo asked you earlier... your woman have another man reason why she left you huh? is it that simple... maybe there's something wrong with you or with her relationship with you you should knew it before just saying that she left you because she have an affair with other man... first you must not in anyway, put all the blame to her for what she just did to you. you should also ask yourself. what did you do that makes her do such i can say sins (if you two are married). dont just get corrupted by your hatred and hurt of what happened to you and her. you two must talk. maybe you have faults too. im kinda disappointed to the reason you gave. hahaha being so defensive here... nwei here are some points, the true meaning of a relationship mostly in woman doesn't [b]ALWAYS[/b] depends on physical contacts and or SEX!... emotional factors is the MOST important element for us woman. it should [b]ALWAYS[/b] be considered. as stated, forgiveness is the key that unlocks the the gates to happiness... you couple should have a [b]very OPEN[/b] communication i suggest... some woman tend to leave their husbands because of another man, yeah it really happens, but dont you think they regret what they did. and if not, of course just like other sins, conscience will always prevail. i remember a proffesor in my college stated, [b]"LOVE in a relationship will expire after 2 years"[/b] and yeah tested. yet [b]"the true meaning of a relationship will only starts after they reached their 5th year being together"[/b], as he implies. and my reaction... what??? so as a person in a relationship, let's compare a couple's relationship into an infant. one must nurture that relationship with the other person before it reaches the expiration, "felling [b]OUT OF LOVE[/b] with his/her partner" and/or the person will... always find someone/another person that will fill that person's expections that this person fail to find in his/her partner. always remember that there is [b]NO PERFECT[/b] relationship in this world. unless you can love a person [b]UNCONDITIONALLY[/b]. and that is [b]GOD[/b], sad to say that we are only humans? humans often made mistakes but can learn from it. and as for the record, the decisions will always ends into what is [b]RIGHTEOUS[/b] and what is [b]FAIR[/b]. and best part to that is you [b]LEARN[/b]. and must not repeat the same mistakes. don't forget to learn the art of FORGIVENESS... >>> [spoiler]sorry, im a very emotional person coz i can relate to your situation i somewhat (not in all aspects)did what your wife have done. maybe you can just hold on to the vow that you two have made during the matrimonial and you will somewhat find peace. don't be too judgemental with your wife, yes she made a mistake but everybody deserves a second chance, i know your wife is so sorry about what happen to you two and maybe she can change for the better if not well you two must put things in a much LEGAL ways. put everything in writing. maybe that's the way it should be[/spoiler][/spoiler]

Last edited by butterfly_lady_08 (2008-12-05 01:55:59)

^ yeah you are right in your points. [spoiler]being in a marriage is not as simple as single persons might think. like most people in marriage says "YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE REAL PERSON UNLESS YOU TWO WILL LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE ROOF IN SOME TIME". not just one day, one month, one year but YEARS. before marrying someone of course you only see all the good things about that person. all the things that you expected about that person is what you will get BEFORE the marriage. and after the marriage realizing that two persons are BIND to live forever together. and you know what? thats the saddest part of the CONCEPTS of marriage. because of "marriage" one is forced &/or NEEDS to stay faithful, loyal, caring and trustworthy to his partner because of "that”. as i said earlier, MARRIAGE or any relationship should be treated like babies... two people who decided to live together forever must always put in mind that there is no such PERMANENT thing in the world. people really change. everything that people expected will fail from time to time. one fact about woman, we really hates disappointments and men always care about their ego and pride. why is it that when man cheated a woman it is not that big deal and vice versa about us woman... nwei getting lost to the topic... in some situations there are infidelities that are caused by a couples misunderstandings and as the above stated, lack of communication is the main problem... that part is correct. for instance, maybe one party got tired of arguing to another, the reason why that person look forward to other people that can understands him/her more than the real partner was doing... same reason why one party fell out of love with the real partner and fall again with another person. yet the decision is WRONG legally and morally speaking right? so who's fault it is? the unhappy cheater or the cheated misunderstood ego claimer partner? nwei... if we really take the concepts of marriage, cheating is terribly wrong but when you take into considerations the emotional factors concern, is the reason were valid? if the cheated partner would realize his/her faults and puts his/her pride to his/her shoes, blames on the cheating partner is not that necessary. couple must have their heart to heart talk. i just want to share this to you guys. before getting in to the matrimonial, the soon to be couple will attend a marriage counseling. Counseling is a must to attend for soon to be couples that decided to marry due to the certificate/proof of attendance. i was so like didn't mind what are the exercises we did in that activity. until after years in a marriage, one day i was so like crazy of remembering one exercise we did in that counseling. the couples are separated to each other, group of brides and group of grooms. they handed us a paper and pen divided into half.. in one part, we are asked to write down all the things that we learn to LOVE about our soon to be husbands and on the other are the things we believe that we HATE about them. it was really funny that i almost fill the LOVE part, full of compliments and good things that i believe i found about my husband. and actually i find it hard to think of what to hate about him. that was during that time... now, if you will ask me to do the same as we did in that exercise, i think i have many things to write about that hate part. in fairness to him i know he also have so much hates in me. and that is what i was telling about in my first part. lesson: MARRIAGE is not a jowk and there`s this reason , in one part of life, marrying someone for the sake of a son/daughter is not a bad decision after all. about the trust issue. yeah it was too fragile. once broken can never be put into pieces as how it is used to be, yet if GOD happens to forgive the sinners, why not you, nor me or anyone who committed that sin? if one person in a marriage did cheat so there is no called MARRIAGE anymore? no more trust, respect, care etch... what can you call that kind of relationship? JUST a Married couple. if a person cannot forgive and live and new life with the same person, might as well get a legal separation. so you two will never suffer from the MARRIAGE thing.[/spoiler] Marriage is the same as the word "Forever" itself.

Last edited by butterfly_lady_08 (2008-12-05 01:55:34)

[spoiler]hmmm... funny huh,,, you have points there yet i have my reasons, nwei just being too defensive about what i did,,, oh im so sorry im the guilty one. yeah cheating a partner is not the answer if a person is no longer happy with his/her partner. sometimes, fate is so unfair and very tricky, in some situation, there's this called co-incidence. that the time a person who happens to be in an unhappy marriage, accidentally find lets say at first a FRIEND huh,,, who always symphatized to his/her sentiments over his/her bad marriage life... nwei, we dont have to argue about this things anymore eehjhay right. nobody is wrong here. i advice to the problem starter to talk and be more observant about his wife. if his wife gets better or keep a word to him, good, if not, well you two must be separated in legal ways. so you two can live a happy life without each other time heals all wounds. always remember that the ghost of the sins every one made will always hunts but it will still be a part of life nightmares always stays in dreams at night but it will always stay in dreams. in real world everybody deserves to move on and be happy.[/spoiler]

Last edited by butterfly_lady_08 (2008-12-05 01:55:09)

[spoiler]grrrr!!!! you know what ej.... to tell you the truth, everytime we talk about this issue or talking about this topic, i always gets hurt by what you are trying to imply here... actually i can't help but just pity myself about this issue. on how you replied on this. (i was so disappointed about your first reply to that problem starter) in my case, yes im guilty. in all ways, no matter how hard i tried to defend my reasons towards this sins that i did, it always ends to "i am a sinner, i am immoral, i am a bad person, cheater, bitch" i know that. because i cheated on my marriage. what i did a year ago to my husband was unforgiveable and unforgettable. i definitely know that. i just wanted to make this things clear. im not a cheater in nature. (just in case someone is thinking that i am presently in another relationship again now.. im not) even in my past relationships before my husband i never cheated anyone until i found and learn to be attached to that person. i hope you know that. you were there from the very beginning when i did cheat on my husband. but come to think of it, should i regret those things that i did? i supposed not. because everything i did gives me more reasons to go on. partial failures are part of life. we don't have to be bitter forever for the sins we made in the past right? the most important factor is I LEARN from my mistakes. that person who gets involved in my emotional life serves as a HELP to me, and to my husband, to realize and understands things in life that we didn't imagine before that situation came. yes, after what i did i really suffer, i suffered a lot, i feel like i'm being punished, less respect, less trust, less passion. i almost loss everything. do i deserve that? in some reasons YES i believe i should be treated that way. i was expecting more actually. but like other people Of course i have the rights to move on, stand where i fall. im still alive and i need to live right for the better. my point here to that man who is cheated by his wife is... don't just say that she left you because of another man. always look into the more deeper reasons of her acts. lets say just like what i did, it just happen that the third party was present during that time that the relationship is in struggle. learn to analyze things, don't just look towards the sins she made, its a cause and effect thing. ask her reasons first. to end this... infidelity in marriage is legally, morally, religiously wrong. but how come there are so many cases of separation even in the Philippines where there is less basis of legalities? i mean, legal separation costs 200k phil peso, and most couples just leave their marriage behind and move on to another relationship disregarding the matrimonial certificate? nweiz eehjhay. you dont have to mention that im using two accounts here and you dont need to mention my real name. . you win... i was terribly annoyed by this issue. is that your very special birthday gift for me huh? wow! im touched. you know me. i will defend my side over and over if i needed about what i did in the past. you forced me i guess to tell this things in here. well all this things that i posted here are the truth and i don't need to be ashamed of it. LMAO im still just human, i don't need to perfect. mistakes are part of life and we need to learn from it. can we move on to another issue i mean topic? i bet that problem starter is suffering from bitterness about his situation now... well nwei let's put some spices... lets talk about SEX now can we? .......end tone[/spoiler]

Last edited by butterfly_lady_08 (2008-12-07 18:24:51)

[spoiler]as i said in my posts... the ghost of the past will hunt over and over... a good relationship when broken will never be fixed as it was before a sin can be forgiven but never be forgotten. correction, i was just defending our side "the so called cheaters on marriage" well time to leave that past behind let us all be glad and happy answer to ur q just last wednesday... a year older, hope to live another years on a better and peaceful life. hmmm i dont have a fone right now... better to be this way. btw you can greet me here thank you anyway [/spoiler] @t [spoiler][spoiler]hmmm... sex, not a necessity as long as two person understands each other never quarrel and etch the relationship will last if there is if none, well i think its a part of the human system observe the attitudes of "tigang" somebody more moody, masungit, emo, crazy etch... if im not mistaken. well it also depends upon human nature i guess. lol i remember a twighlight dialog of edward "you are like my own personal brand of heroine" replacing the first words with sex eeerrrggg... senseless... see! im getting crazy... a very good example [/spoiler][/spoiler]

Last edited by butterfly_lady_08 (2008-12-07 18:15:39)

OT: [spoiler]whew! i have been reading the issue... i wish to add an opinion but realizing that im too young and lack of experiences haha so not bothering to add queries now.. [/spoiler] @topic: [spoiler][b]Biologically,[/b] sex is a need according to Maslow.. Because off course without sex human species cannot be preserved.. [b]Emotionally,[/b] sex is the physical way of expressing love to ur partner... yet some only want it for worldly pleasure.. so what about those who practice the vow of chastity/celibacy? remember that we are all humans... whether u practice that vow or not as ive said before, it's the thought that counts..[/spoiler]

Last edited by gLoOo (2008-12-06 22:29:37)

[quote=butterfly_lady_08]sa seminaryo daw wala ka makikita kundi puro puno ng papaya... (there are so many papaya trees planted inside a seminary premises)--sana tama translation ko sana na gets nio yun punchline [/quote] *i get the joke, haha. this punchline was also shared to us by a priest in the seminary, haha. matching explanation pa. haha i have this weird question popped out in my mind just now, haha [spoiler]do *size* matters?[/spoiler] do you want me to be more specific? haha

Last edited by ubenchx (2008-12-08 08:26:28)

@ubenchx: [spoiler]about that... does size matter? if u refer to men's here: as ive thought, that's a common misconception in sex. Some actually say that bigger penis provides more satisfaction to women than the smaller size... hehe guys don't be offended here... actually that doesn't matter... An average penile size is 6-7 inches.. If u remember my previous posts here, 2 inches can satisfy a woman.. [/spoiler]

Last edited by gLoOo (2008-12-14 09:17:49)

^ Woah! I missed u a lot mizel! Majority said that sex is necessary and it's important to everybody. -- Anyway, another topic. This is not about sex. What are you going to do if you like or love your friend but he/she already have a bf/gf? You guys are close to each other but you can't make any move to him/her since she/he is already committed to another person. What should you do? Are you just going to ignore your feelings and/or force yourself not to fall for your friend? Or are you going to express your feelings towards your friend?

Last edited by eehjhay (2008-12-14 09:34:19)

@ new topic: [spoiler]very common problem.. hehe anyway, to tell u honestly guys if u know ur friend is happy with the one she/he is committed with why don't u support him/her instead? u love your friend off course and you don't want to ruin that friendship you have. sometimes, we people think that when we reveal our friends what we really feel for them we think that it might ruin the friendship, agree? we maintain our pride on friendship so we tend to hide the feelings that we have and pretend we don't know anything. if u keep on hiding these feelings, it's useless.. off course u have to time it somehow in telling what u feel.. cause if u don't, regret is what u get.. [spoiler]by the way, my present boyfriend was my bestfriend.. haha i got this ideas because of him.. i didn't regret the fact that he told me about his feelings.. right now we are having a little conflict since i revealed him what happend about me and my ex.. (u know what im talking about..) and he was shocked since he was expecting me to be innocent and haven't engage in such.. i don't know if he could accept me for who i am.. he asked me to give him time and space so i did.. what do u think guys? will he still be accepting me for who i am? [/spoiler][/spoiler]