i confess that.... [spoiler][color=red]i really miss him.. i still love him.. i still want to be with him.. i still want to spend time with him.. i still want to be his one and only.. i still want to try to work things out with him.. it's just that he himself is the problem.. i should have never set him free.. i should have never let him find another girl who could give the things i cannot give. may be if that happened, may be he's still mine.. but what can i do? i STILL WANT him to be happy.. anyways, we really cannot be together... we never will be...^^ and now, i also am determined not to let him back again.. he had just been so rude.. he loved me.. and he still loves me.. but he loves himself more.. just as what my teacher and friend said, i should let him be a closed book from my life.. he is not worth it.. so i am now doing it.. and i think i'm already finding someone who could help me.. anyways, i also confess that... i gained a lot of pounds again.. hmmpf... i dont want this to happen.. but this is it.. omigosh.. but oh.. if i don't have this eating disorder thing, i would have been an obese girl by now.. [/color][/spoiler]