wow im here now in confession [spoiler]confession 1. i woke up last night not feeling well and ask him if i can use his resources to find jobs abroad. of course i can't avoid to pm my friends and have a casual chat on them. he was so irritating on how he wanted me to stop communicating to them.. i know he's jealous of eehjhay so much but to think that itwas just a chat. nothing more than that and i explained to him too many times that the person has his own life now and have gf and is very happy with his relationship now... i know its not fair for that person to be involve in my broken relationship with him again and again. it was so tiring explaining to him what that person is to me...im so sorry to mention your name here, i was just expressing what my point was. im not even bothered if he will found about this... i don't care at all.. im really tired of this. 2. i confess im really dying to find a job outside phils. far from misseries, far from my pasts and mistakes, far from... him... 3. i confess this morning i attemted to leave the house again. but as i aranged and packed my things i can help my self not to cry because of hurt. so much of the pain he brought me from october until now i still have those. im so tired of those. 4. i confess im so fond of the word "tired" and "tiring" coz im really tired of what was happening to me, my life and to my relationship with paulo... 5. i confess that from now on i will not listen to whatever he say or do about his life and our family. let it all be... if he thinks that i am a bad wife d*** it, let it be... if he thinks and feel that i was a whore,,, f*** it let it be... i don"t care at all... if he thinks that im leaving him because of that other guy... god forgive me,,, i will be. im no longer interested in hoping and hoping for a good relationship... all my hopes are finally gone... 6. i confess that i was wishing that paulo will find and read this confession of mine...[/spoiler]

Last edited by mama0114 (2008-06-23 01:14:20)